


things said to the infinite

by que_mint_tea



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Daisysous, F/M, Sousy, StaticQuake, Timequake, Well not really, daisy x sousa, dousy, dousy discuss lincoln's death, hurt-comfort..?, idkkk but it's worth a read i promise, staticquake mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:28:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26357230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/que_mint_tea/pseuds/que_mint_tea
Summary: " ...Was this what he saw too?Was one of these stars or galaxies or lonesome flickers of an asteroid the last little glimpse that flooded his vision as he hovered above earth, the imminence of his fate looming over him. Crackling intercom in hand, her own voice breaking on the other end- desperate to cling to him, never let go... "In which Daisy tells Sousa about Lincoln, and Sousa tells Daisy about what it means to leave people behind...
Relationships: Lincoln Campbell/Skye | Daisy Johnson, Skye | Daisy Johnson & Daniel Sousa, Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa
Comments: 23
Kudos: 101





	things said to the infinite

**Author's Note:**

  * For [daisylincs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisylincs/gifts).



> This one's for you, Lily <3 
> 
> Since our little chat about how you adore staticquake and my #1 will forever be dousy, I thought hey..why not write something that explores both and how they intertwine!!!  
> Still a dousy ending though :P  
> Also, it got kinda sad..sorry?
> 
> S7 finale spoilers..I guess..

Daisy was alone with the stars tonight.

It was one of those rare evenings there wasn’t some crazy mission or alien threat to deal with as the newly-assembled team composed of herself, her dorky boyfriend from the 1950s, and her celestial-energy-wielding sister from the past, scavenged outer space. The unofficial ‘Astro Ambassadors’, as Daniel liked to call them. Daisy huffed out a chuckle- she loved them both to pieces.

But tonight Daisy left them peacefully dozing off in their bunks to sit herself in the silence of the cockpit. It was just her and the stars, accompanied only by a low hum of the engine or occasional beep of a button informing her on the Zephyr’s surroundings as it zoomed through outer space. 

And it was breathtaking. 

The tiny sparkles and twinkles in the distance flickering in and out of her sight, the stillness of magnificent planets hanging in the night, looming over the Zephyr as it passed them by. There were thousands upon thousands of galaxies emerging right before her eyes- nebulas expanding and bursting with colours Daisy hadn’t even seen before, erupting with every bit of energy and animation and _life_ ... She could feel it all, if she focused hard enough, every little vibration from every star that flickered into existence, the way it trembled and quivered as it grew into something beautiful, stronger… just like she had done. Once a child with far too many bruises, a chip on her shoulder, and nobody to hold her when she ached, Daisy Johnson was now a strong, capable woman with a team by her side, a new _family_.

As she sat still, marvelling at the view she heard it again. _Beep_. Small and subtle in the vacuum of space-time and constellations, lost in the quiet of the Zephyr's cockpit- but not subtle enough, not— _Beep._ And it sounded so familiar too.. So eerily close to her heart, stinging like a tiny needle beneath her skin... _Beep._ The stars didn’t look so friendly anymore. _Beep._ A shaky breath in. _Beep._ Something hot and bitter stung at the corners of her eyes. _Beep_.

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

Nothing.

It was gone.

Just silence again- now inexplicably thick and suffocating.

The sound had stopped, had blinked out of existence, just like how he'd...

Daisy couldn’t breathe.

It had been a long time since she'd though of him last, she realised. And it made her feel selfish. Guilt bubbling up at the pit of her stomach like lava because in truth, she _wanted_ to forget. Not _him_ , never him, but the dull ache that came along with every memory of them together, with every memory of their ill-timed, raw goodbye...Daisy lifted her eyes to the view in front of her again to try and stop the tears, focus on something else, but it was too late now to stop the storm of thoughts and doubts and regrets drowning her whole.

_Beep._

...Was this what he saw too? 

As he hovered above earth, the imminence of his fate looming over him, crackling intercom in hand, her own voice breaking on the other end, desperate to cling to him, never let go...

_Beep._

Was one of these stars or galaxies or lonesome flickers of an asteroid the last little glimpse that flooded his vision before he--

Nothing.

  
...had he been lonely? 

He had to be, she thought, a lump now in her throat, fists clutched so hard her nails were digging into her own palm. It’s so quiet out here, so painfully _still_ … Stars are breathtaking, without doubt, but they’re also massive clouds of energy, of deadly electricity, heavy thick power- so arrogant- towering over her, over him, over _everything_...They make you feel so small, so temporary _-_ as if nothing you do or say or accomplish, nothing you become truly matters in the end because, who are you, really? A spec of dust, a flicker in the face of the almighty celestial bodies- infinitely eternal...

You're helpless, unbearably.. _inconsequential._

Yet he thought he was saving the world. 

_It's okay it's okay it's okay Daisy, breathe_ \- she kept repeating in her mind, dreading the old wounds she felt being slowly pried open, bleeding, oozing out of her again- _It's okay it's okay it's--_

“Hey..” She heard the soft hum of Sousa’s voice from behind her and turned to find him all ruffled hair and sleepy-eyed entering into the silent space of the cockpit. “You didn’t come to bed so I..though I'd come check on you."

He sat down in the seat next to her finally noticing the fresh tears on her face- she was trembling. Sousa's heart sank,

"Daisy, are you alright?" He asked, soft and caring, so _him_ , though he already knew the answer. She was silent. "What's this about?"

_It's okay it's okay it's okay I'm okay I'm—_

He lifted his hand to place his soothing palm on her shoulder, finally startling Daisy,

“It's okay." She wiped her cheek hastily, "It's okay, I'm okay." she repeated now to him, "This isn’t about anyone you know.”

"Well um.." Sousa lifted his hand away from her and tilted his head to catch her downcast gaze, “Tell me anyway? Because it looks like it's eating you up..”

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

Nothing..

“...Lincoln.” She breathed, barely a whisper, something heavy at the pit of her stomach, and she couldn’t find it in herself to suppress the tears any longer, “He um..he was one of the first inhumans I met after terragenesis, helped me..come to terms with everything, learn not to hurt myself with my powers, not to be afraid of who I am...”

“Sounds like a pretty solid guy.” He offered simply.

“Yeah.” Daisy smiled a sad smile, “ _Yeah_. He was.”

She crossed her arms on her chest now searching for warmth, for some type of comfort in the looming black hole of guilt and memories enveloping her whole.

“He was also one of the first people I knew I loved.” Her voice broke, something fragile and brittle cracking open within her...

“Seems like you really cared for him.” Sousa's voice was quiet too, soothing.

“I did. I...still do.” She shook her head looking down, “It's been, what..nearly three years since he's gone now but I.." her fingers tugged anxiously at a loose string on her sleeve,".... I still can't help but wonder about him sometimes, and it still hurts. I um..It hurts a lot..”

"I'd never hurt you, Daisy." Sousa wanted her to know. He'd tell her every day, he'd vowed to himself, every day until she finally believes him—

“He said that too.”

She chuckled then, with nothing but bitterness in her laugh, because how could she _not_? How many people had told her that now? First Ward, the psycho Nazi, then Lincoln, the selfless vigilante...all the people she let herself care about made the same promise- a promise they knew they couldn't keep. Curse these arrogant towering clouds of stars and light, curse the stupid infinite, curse fate or God--hell, curse them all! Because in the end, at the precipice of these expanding, bursting bodies, she was left helpless with no control, and so had he...

“Lincoln..he said he'd never hurt me, but he ended up doing it anyway. And I don’t even know which part is worse- that he broke his promise, or that he did it for _me_ , because he cared for me so much he was _willing_ to...”

Sousa wished he could hug her then, hold her, tell her it's okay- but he knew that's not what she needed, he knew she was strong enough. He just needed to be here, to listen...

“He was probably just doing what he thought was best.” 

“He sacrificed himself, Daniel.” Daisy was angry now. She didn't mean it, not at him, but there was bitterness and an ache expanding within her like a nebula, like the galaxies in front of her very eyes, how _fitting_... She gritted her teeth, “He crawled onto a quinjet, fried the entire system, and launched himself off into space with a mind-controlling alien villain by his side." her voice was louder, strained, raw...

Then she added quietly quietly, 

"To save the world, to save _me…_ and now when I look at the stars for a little too long I end up thinking of him. Of how maybe things would have gone a different way if I'd...”

She blamed herself, Sousa winced, of course she did. That was so on-brand for her, for her _type_. Memories from his own past flooded him, bursting like a dam...

“Sometimes people do stupid things for the ones they love." Sousa finally spoke filling the empty silence, "Believe me, there’s no stopping someone who’s determined to save the love of their life.”

Daisy nodded, she knew.

“I would have done the same for him. I would-It..it should have been me. I should have—“

“Hey.” He interrupted, tender concern in his voice, " _Hey_..." He scooted forward in his chair and took her hand in his, placing a kiss to her knuckles, then the tender of her palm,

“I’m sorry. I'm sorry.." She felt embarrassed for a moment, so _vulnerable.."_ This is...weird since we're together and everything..I didn't mean to bring all this up." She pulled her hand away wiping her eyes once more, blinking away the blur of salty tears, "The truth is...sometimes I don't think I can ever fully get over him... He's... _wait_. I'm so sorry, I don't mean that like I'm breaking up with you or I don't love you..or whatever because that's not what I meant, like, _at all_ \--"

“Daisy—"

"You mean a lot to me and um-I don't want to mess—"

" _Daisy._ " His eyes caught hers now, firm, inviting—begging her to listen, "We aren’t _meant_ to ‘get over’ people."

She stilled. 

" _Hell—_ a day doesn't go by without me missing my time, my family, friends, my _people._.." He trailed off. A star disappeared with a flutter somewhere off in the distance. "The things I'd do to hold them close and tell them how much they truly mean to me, to.. I'm never going to 'get over' them, Daisy, because _they're people_. Part of our lives that will be permanent— not something you can just wash out of your system, cut the string and never give it another thought. They were real, they _are_ real. People change us- become a part of us as much as they are parts of themselves. We aren’t _meant_ 'let them go' or forget... And the truth is _we can't_. Because what they teach us, what they meant to us- it's all still there, it’ll always be there. All in the people we are now, the person _you_ are... And that's okay.”

She stood up then, kissing him with everything in her, pulling him impossibly closer, cuddling into his lap, resting her head on his chest, _safe_...

_Beep._

She barely heard it now- the quiet sound in the air.

_Beep._

A whisper among the soft thumping of his heart against her ear...

_Beep—_

Nothing..

There are parts of Daisy Johnson she will never let him see- parts that are taken, saved for someone else, like he's made a home in her heart. But there are parts of Daniel Sousa she will never see either- parts that belong to a different time, to different people, to a different life. So what if they were both a little broken? So what if they were tethered, worn, hurt... They didn't need to be _whole_ to care for each other, to want to keep each other safe, and they didn't need to be whole to _love_... 

**Author's Note:**

> wow i am getting a toothache from how sweet this ending turned out to be. i'm..sorry?
> 
> Aaanyway!! Please leave a kudo or comment or-hey- go all out and leave b o t h ! It would mean a lot lot lot lot lot to me :)


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